I believe non-hijabies get treated differently than hijabies !
You are probably saying that this is just one case, but in fact this has happen to me many times.
I remember another incident where I went to this tutoring room in the university and a male student was helping me with the homework. Take note that most of the tutors in those room are males. A girl wearing tight jeans, tank top and had big... you know whats walked in. Yeah she was pretty. Every guy went up to her asking if she needed help. Even the guy who was helping me left me! I was dumbfounded. I was staring at them and the girl. At first I was confused at what had happened. I just ended up packing my stuff off and left because obviously no one was going to help me for long. This actually happened several times in the tutoring room. I felt embarrassed because I know I was being treated because of how I looked. These guys who were tutors weren't even ugly. :/ Great dissed by attractive guys.
You can argue that these girls are getting treated solely on how good looking they are, but is there really something wrong with that?
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| Sort of makes me feel like a queen walking :P |
On the other hand I feel I receive more respect as a hijabi. With practicing brothers, they lower their gaze when they walk past you and they have a different tone when they talk to you. Its like they see you as a human... if that makes sense. Even the not so practicing Muslim guy will talk to me different than how he talks to the that super duper pretty girl. Like I am equal to him. I am not sure if I am making sense. I remember talking to my brother about this and he said its because a hijabi reminds you of Allah. I guess this hijab reminds them of religion again. Of course the conversations with guys seem very formal and some girls say they would not want that and would want him to just act chill but, I guess it is respect. Like the way he talks to his mother in a way.
Even some non-Muslim guys treat me differently. Its like they do not know how to talk to me so they are quieter and politer. I guess they are thinking " How do I talk to this covered girl? I don't want to offend her." For the most part they avoid me, I am guessing I am unfamiliar territory or what a friend told me " The chase to get with this girl is to hard"
Side story: The other day I was talking to the director of marketing of business, I was asking him a question. I must mention he was really handsome guy :P. Anyways, he presented his hand for a handshake and I told him "Sorry, I do not shake hands with men.". He automatically started apologizing and turning red. Funny guy. I know for a fact some Muslim girls would of shook his hand just because he was handsome.I just want to say, just because someone is good looking NOT a good enough reason to give yourself up in the slightest bit. Please girls be strong, you too guys I am routing for you all!
I honestly don't have any guy friends. There is the occasional ones in your class were you are say hi to and do the polite small talk, but besides that I do not interact with guys for fun, strictly business you can say. I can say that this is probably due to my hijab. I do not talk to guys for fun because when you wear hijab its not just how you look its the way you behave.
I defiantly can conclude that a non-hijabi gets treated differently than hijabies in most cases.
Do you guys agree because these are from my personal experiences and observations?
I do think that sometimes we are treated differently. I notice it more, now that I am in university because it is less multicultural here. normally i live in a very mixed, muslim area of london and people are very used to muslim people and treat you the same (either that or im not very observant!).
ReplyDeleteanyway onto the handshake thing. I have a dilemma regrading this because I do shake hands, primarily because I find myself in situations, interviews etc, where handshaking is a formality and rather than embarrass the individual I do go ahead and shake their hand. I have never heard of sisters changing from non-hand-shakers to hand-shakers when they come across a handsome man. If true, thats really sad.
Nice blog btw :)
Thank you for the comment!
ReplyDeleteFor the most part Toronto to is very multicultural and I am treated very equally but, when it comes to contact with the opposite sex I notice slight difference of how certain people are treated. At least I know Hijab is doing its job XD
Yeah the hand shaking thing is a delima as for me but, after hearing this hadith about shaking hands I realized how important it is not to touch someone who is not your Mahrem. Sometimes I slip though. Its hard but once most people know you dont shake hand or hug guys its like they don't bother anymore and they just wave. I remember being in London and guys would try to greet me with a side kiss. Culture shock lol
You should watch a video me a friend made a long time ago. I think we are going to redo it because the editing and filming was horrible but here it is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_xKT2_X1u4
Handshaking for the most part, is always confusing.
ReplyDeleteI had a really embarrasing moment once, when I was doing a health survey for my job placement, and I had to shake the hands of everyone I surveyed. Turns out one of em was a muslim guy who turned my hand down instantly.
I didn't know he was muslim...
Lets just say it was really awkward.
haha of course that shouldn't change anything. Doesn't matter if their muslim or not, a man is a man.
I'm proud of you Ayan, I can never turned down a handshake because I feel like the person would think I'm being rude. I'm gonna strive for the no-handshake policy now inshallah.
I agree with you. I feel like guys realize they have to respect this girl, and like I told you once before, they left you running to the pretty girl not because your ugly but because on her forehead they see "opportunity" where as yours reads "not a chance."
I think it takes a strong level of imaan to notice, this is exactly what Allah is protecting us from. We are not opportunities. We are humans.
And should be treated as such.
LOL Hibaq does this. We were downtown Torino and there were this Italian Americans from New York (how typical) the man was introducing himself so me and the other girl with us shook his hand. Hibaq on the other hand had her hands in her pocket and sort of did this kind of head-bob to say hello. Looking back on it, I realized you don't owe anyone anything let alone a handshake. If anything make eye contact, smile and say "nice to meet you" if the situation calls for it. But I like your answer it's direct.
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