I am lost BUT I see the Light

I am really lost right now, but I do see the light and I know where it is.
Alhamdulilah for everything.

I am being tested big time.
I WILL NOT LOSE THIS CHALLENGE!
The shaytaan is not going to win I tell ya!
I know your agenda mister and trust me you are NOT going to fool me
You might of tricked me with that chocolate cake of poison
but fool me once shame on you fool me twice... NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

If I lose I am not Ahyani Sam.!!!

Hooking MaskedWomen Up!

Let me beat you to the bush and tell you what I have been up to lately. If some of you noticed I actually have another blog that some friends and I have been working on. The blog is called Muslim Cinderella story. You can go check it out. Read the first post to learn what this blog is about :)

So basically MaskedWomen  was part of the blog, but she was not a consistent writer and she did not seem serious about it so xxcomplicationxx and I gave her the boot.  Her journey still continues, but will not be published.


OPERATION HOOK THEM UP (H.T.U)
Step 1: Find the brothers.

So MaskedWomen told me she was serious about looking for a spouse. So I told her to leave it to me. I found two brothers, one who was serious about marriage , lets call him Bugs and one who... was not so serious, lets call him Daffy.

Bugs was older than us by a few years. He was practising and seemed like a pious person.  Daffy, I do not know him at all.... to be honest I suggested him for  purely entertainment reason. Just the thought of them together just made me laugh.
Step 2: Get a Lackey To do my bidding.

I am a girl I cannot just go talking to strange men as I please. I need a boy I know who can be trusted to put my plans into motion. So I got myself a sidekick. Gave him two basketball tickets to a game I received, so with that said, he owes me one. I call him....my Lackey.

Step 3: Finding out their Statues

Turned out the not so serious guy, Daffy, was dead seriously not interested. He made it really clear. Even when my Lackey tried to convince him it wasn't MaskedWomen instead it was ... some other lady, he still thought it was her. looool I don't blame him. It would of never worked out ,but if did it would of been awesome.
Also Bugs turned out to be engaged with another women. This could be purely rumors, but it makes me kinda disappointed because MaskedWomen seemed really interested in him. Oh well on to the next.

Step 4: Plan B

So I took matter once again into my own hands. I signed MaskedWomen up on a site called meetmehalal.com.  I obviously had her permission (Dont sign up friends up without their consent people). She ended up getting messages from potential spouses. Unfortunately she was not interested so she ignored them.

Step 4: Step B.2

She later informed me she was interested in white converts and Spanish guys.
'....Alright' I thought
I signed her up for singlemuslims.com and then I searched for brothers who were Spanish or white. She messaged some guys she was interested in and she is yet to get a reply.

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I was never a fan of these internet dating sites. Yeah you heard me DATING SITES because that what it looks like to me. You can easily use the site to date rather than looking for a spouse.  My next plan is just going to tell her to ask her family or something. We can obviously see I have no idea what I am doing anyways.

 Come on.... how are you choosing your spouses race and height over other things that truly matter first. Are you serious???? Does that really matter?


Signing off Bitter.sweet

How do you know if you are ready for marriage anyways?

New Year New Me

Why am I lying? All I want is to be the best I can be. That is something I have been working on for years ^.^

Keep me in your prayers.

That Girl

It's true I am not a notable character
Always forgotten.
But I like to think that maybe.
Just maybe...
A little part of me is left behind with each person I encounter.
Then I can't be truly forgotten.
Times like this I am grateful for all the friends I have.
At least I KNOW I am in their hearts. Alhamdulillah :)

Why Am I Killing Myself?

I am a big junk food addict. I love outside, fried, sweet,sour food! I am usually willing to try new things. Well of course if its  halal and all.

I have recently had a new prospective of healthy living. My brother who eats so much junk food, but is forever working out and playing sports claims what he is doing is okay. He says "It doesn't matter because I work it off later" I cringe because this is not the point I was trying to make. Its the fact you are taking unhealthy food and forcing yourself to produce energy from it and all that other good stuff your body need.

I started to really think about the human body in a whole different way.

Imagine you have this body to take care of. Sort of like a pet you love and care for. Your respoinsiblity at the moment is to let this 'pet' live longest and healthiest life it can. So what do you do? You feed it the most healthiest food and things it needs to continue its day. So you look at your healthy eating guide where it has all the food groups, but there is one problem. Your 'pet' desires all these  unhealthy food. It doesn't want to eat your healthy food. So it starts eating things like Oreo cookies which does have an ounce of anything beneficial. Its as if you are eating a chocolate cover pencil. Taste good but, is useless for you body. Your body needs certain vitamins and other nutrients from food. So you continue feeding this 'pet' junk.
 Inside its body, it pumping in and out filth. Trying to form energy by every little thing it can get. Over time you notice your pet's skin is dull, it is more tired/lazier, they are not thinking to the best to it's ability. Guess what, you are killing your pet, or should I say you are killing yourself.

With that being said the body always desires what is not good for them. If there was a donuts vs apples, most people would take the donuts even though the apples are more benefical.

What I need to work on it not  giving in to my desires. Promote healthier living. I always knew this information, but just never cared. I want to feel more alive, less tired and energetic. I want my brain to work at it best capacity. Exercising is also something I will try to work on. My older brother has insanity so I am going to try that.

Wish me luck guys.

The Non-Hijabi Vs The Hijabi

I believe non-hijabies get treated differently than hijabies ! 

I remember  I was in a lecture and I didn't understand a certain concept so I asked a guy be near by. Take note that 85% of my classmates are males. He gave me a half ass response that left me in confusion as before. A few minutes later a non-hijabi girl asked a similar question and he explained it to her in great detail. I am not sure, but I think he was doing the work for her as well. All I wanted was help :(

You are probably saying that this is just one case, but in fact this has happen to me many times.

I remember another incident where I went to this tutoring room in the university and a male student was helping me with the homework. Take note that most of the tutors in those room are males. A girl wearing tight jeans, tank top and had big... you know whats walked in. Yeah she was pretty. Every guy went up to her asking if she needed help. Even the guy who was helping me left me! I was dumbfounded. I was staring at them and the girl. At first I was confused at what had happened.  I just ended up packing my stuff off and left because obviously no one was going to help me for long. This actually happened several times   in the tutoring room. I felt embarrassed because I know I was being treated because of how I looked. These guys who were tutors weren't even ugly. :/ Great dissed by attractive guys. 

You can argue that these girls are getting treated solely on how good looking they are, but is there really something wrong with that?

Sort of makes me feel like a queen walking :P

On the other hand I feel I receive more respect as a hijabi. With practicing brothers, they lower their gaze when they walk past you and they have a different tone when they talk to you. Its like they see you as a human... if that makes sense. Even the not so practicing Muslim guy will talk to me different than how he talks to the that super duper pretty girl. Like I am equal to him. I am not sure if I am making sense. I remember talking to my brother about this and he said its because a hijabi reminds you of Allah. I guess this hijab reminds them of religion again. Of course the conversations with guys seem very formal and some girls say they would not want that and would want him to just act chill but, I guess it is respect. Like the way he talks to his mother in a way. 

Even some non-Muslim guys treat me differently. Its like they do not know how to talk to me so they are quieter and politer. I guess they are thinking " How do I talk to this covered girl? I don't want to offend her." For the most part they avoid me, I am guessing I am unfamiliar territory or what a friend told me " The chase to get with this girl is to hard"

Side story: The other day I was talking to the director of marketing of business, I was asking him a question. I must mention he was really handsome guy :P. Anyways, he presented his hand for a handshake and I told him "Sorry, I do not shake hands with men.". He automatically started apologizing and turning red. Funny guy. I know for a fact some Muslim girls would of shook his hand just because he was handsome.I just want to say, just because someone is good looking NOT a good enough reason to give yourself up in the slightest bit. Please girls be strong, you too guys I am routing for you all!

I honestly don't have any guy friends. There is the occasional ones in your class were you are say hi to and do the polite small talk, but besides that I do not interact with guys for fun, strictly business you can say. I can say that this is probably due to my hijab. I do not talk to guys for fun because when you wear hijab its not just how you look its the way you behave.

 I defiantly can conclude that a non-hijabi gets treated differently than hijabies in most cases.

Do you guys agree because these are from my personal experiences and observations?

Must be a Jinn

My maybe jin experience?!?!

Okay when I was in England I had something very strange happen to me. I was sleeping on my back and I felt something heavy on me and I couldn't move. I also couldn't scream. I was in a panic and I had no clue what was going on. After a few moments I could move, so I went to sleep on my side and the same thing happen again. 
So, like any other sane person would  I googled it. Turns out I had all the symptoms of sleep paralysis.

It happens to people at least once in their lifetime. It's very scary. Back in the old days it was associated with demons sitting on you.                     I also seen a reference on how it could be a jinn. SubhanAllah if it was a jinn thank God it never bothered me again.

Sleep paralysis is still something not really understood yet. So maybe it was a jinn.

Most of my friends know I have a fascination with jinns. Obviously not enough to ever contact them because thats haraam and scary :p

I have many jinn stories I can share with you, but for next time

So tell me have you guys ever experienced sleep paralysis or know someone who has?